Wholeness is brokenness, owned

Short and sweet today, as it's been a long week already, this being Thursday, and tomorrow setting up the weekend. It's been quite an eventful week, as work has been at the forefront of my output, making each evening seem longer and longer and with less and less excitement or thought. Last night, for instance, I fell asleep on the couch about 8:30, waking up at 10:23 and wondering what the hell had happened to me. I flipped through the DVR and checked my laptop to see if my current update to SP2 was completed. Bean looked up at me from her bed next to the couch with a look that said "don't even think I'm getting up from this spot". As a side note, I love thinking that she actually could say something and I know she'd be as snarky and irritated as I am at times. Nothing on the DVR that had me intrigued enough to stay up, SP2 was done installing and I could barely keep my eyes open. So, in a dazed and confused stumble, I picked up the too comfortable chihuahua, turned off the TV, closed the laptop and hit the switch on the lights and headed to bed. Took me a few minutes to return to slumber, at least it felt like it did, and about 10:50 the crying in the next room jumped me out of my skin, sending Bean for a blanket ride. Jackson somehow posted himself up between the wall and his bed and wasn't awake enough to get out, exerting just enough energy to cry loud enough for me to save him from an uncomfortable spot. I scooped him up pretty quick and helped his head find the pillow. Back to crazy binky suction action, sound asleep, I wanted to just crawl into that little race car bed and sleep like a baby. I watched him sleep for a few minutes, wishing I could sleep like that and if I cried, someone would come scoop me up and put me back to comfortable slumber. I headed back to my nice warm bed where Bean had taken up the warm spot and slept through until the 5:15 alarm bell. Guess I really needed that sleep, I feel a million times better today. Hope this isn't a sign of age, needing more sleep. I love staying up late and being a kid. I also hope that never changes, enjoying what life is and being able to be silly and dreaming and maintaining hope.

My weekly sermon on the iPhone as I walked through the city streets to the train today. It was a good one, and one in which this post is titled after. "...wholeness is brokenness, owned, therefore new life...". I've said many times that I want to feel whole, feel comfortable and enjoy life. It seems like at times how broken I've been, I can never put it all back together, but hearing that phrase tells me that if what it is I want in this life, I have to. A new life, a new wholeness, owning the pieces that are broken and making them fit again. It's hard, right now, to think that's possible, but if witnessing my sons tears and screams in the middle of the night subsiding with a scoop and a pillow, I suppose anything is possible.


Keep loving one another.

Stay blessed-