Next to my grandmother, my mom is one of the toughest women I know. Not tough in the sense that she was tough on me, she’s always been a push over when I cried or begged enough for that toy as a child, but tough in the sense that life was never easy or simple on her. She grew up in essentially a single parent home, losing her father at the age of 6 to a heart attack. My grandmother never remarried, and worked multiple jobs to ensure her family was taken care of, all three of the children. My parents did the exact same thing for their three children, always working as many jobs as they could to ensure we had everything we needed, even when it wasn’t necessary, but desired by one or all of us. I don’t remember my mom ever really saying no to anything I ever asked for that was reasonable, even possibly the unreasonable, but in this moment, I can’t think of any unreasonable request this angel ever asked for. There were times, once on our way to preschool, where I uncovered a bag from K-Mart, whose contents included a brand new He-Man figure that was on my 5 year old wish list. Back in those days, kids didn’t sit in car seats past a certain age, and I was at that age where I was free to roam around the back of my parents Subaru wagon while she drove down the road. She thought she had done a great job of hiding the bag, but as all kids can confess, if it’s in the area, we’ll find it. And on this day, I was Sherlock Holmes, unearthing the bag from deep in the back seat of the yellow wood paneled Subaru. Immediately upon seeing the shiny new figure, I couldn’t conceal my excitement and began questioning my mom as to it’s mysterious presence in the car. She replied as calmly as she could that it was for my cousin, for his birthday, and that I needed to put it back. I pressed, I really wanted it. She must have explained the story 3 or 4 more times before I let the tears fly. My mom, being the softy that she is, gave in, let me have it. I ripped that packaging open just in time to arrive at preschool, where I had to leave my new toy in the car for the day. Maybe she held out just long enough to allow me the opportunity to open it in time to have to put it down on purpose, to teach me a lesson, or maybe it just worked out that way. It would be years later when I recounted the story to her that she admitted that the He-Man really was for me, but for Christmas, which was a few months away. My mom has always been amazing at preplanning things like Christmas gifts, starting months early in order to ensure she had enough money to get everything she had in mind for her kids. Often times, it took months, my folks were never wealthy by any stretch of the imagination. My mom wanted to make sure that her kids had everything they wanted (within reason) on Christmas morning. It’s probably the reason I go crazy with gifts at Christmas and birthdays, getting to see the faces light up when that package finally gets unwrapped. She loves it, and it’s the same reason she let the 5 year old me open that He-Man figure that day. She never wanted her children to hurt and if she had a way to stop that hurting, she’d do it.
When I left for college at 18, my mom was there in the drive way as my dad and I filled up the bed of my pick up with my things, doing what she’s always done when one of her kids was leaving, cry. She pretended to smile as she was excited for my new adventure, but the tears always told the story. Even to this day, 15 years later, she stills cries every time I leave or drop her off at the airport to go home. I’m her first, the baby, and I love that she still misses me everyday, as much as I miss her. She’s always been a protector, even when I didn’t need protecting or want protecting. Anytime she saw me hurt, I know she hurt too. I put her through hell growing up, rarely a time when an emergency room visit wasn’t a half pipe session away, or some girl wasn’t getting busy breaking my heart. Through all of the pains of adolescents, my mom was right there to help me through it. Always calm, always present. I can’t remember a single time where she wasn’t in the stands or on the sidelines at a game, or rushing home from work to make sure I had a ride to practice. Never a time where I needed to be rushed to the hospital for x-rays where she wasn’t the first responder. I always knew that no matter what was wrong, my mom would be there in a heartbeat, and it instilled in me, that same response to everything that goes wrong for someone in my universe. I’ve always known that there was no way I could ever repay the sacrifices my parents made for me and my brother and sister. I’ve just tried to be an example of the man they have raised me to be. Sure, I’ve fallen short plenty of times, I’m human, I make mistakes. But the underlying desire to treat everyone as well as I wanted to be treated came from them. There are plenty of people in the world that can quote me saying things like “you can thank my mom for that” or “my mom would kick my ass if I didn’t” in response to opening a door for someone. Every girlfriend I’ve ever had knows that my mom raised me to respect women and take care of them, as if she was ever present. It’s the things I learned from my mom, and watching my dad with her, that taught me a lot about how to treat other people. Respect and cooperation, partnership and never giving up, regardless of how tough things were.
To my mom I say, thank you, thank you for helping guide me to being the man I am today. I only hope I can continue to be as strong as you have been your entire life. Happy Birthday! I love you
Stay Blessed-
