Repost the Past

I wrote this about four years ago, and rereading it this morning, was a stark reminder that I needed. Maybe you do too, it’s all about changing the mindset sometimes.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

One Year has Past

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same" -Anonymous
I started writing about this 40 some odd weeks ago, knowing that no matter what I did, no matter what I tried to do, it would still be on my mind, pouring out of my fingers, running out of my eyes. I knew that I had hit a moment in my life that would forever be remembered. You know there are so many things in this world that mean very little and somehow we as people get so caught up in them. We can talk trash about anyone, argue about the smallest things, say hurtful things in the heat of the moment and for what? What does it all matter in the end?
I've been worrying about that a lot lately, "the end". I know in the last year I've written a few things a long those lines and maybe it's just my internal clock ticking a little louder each year, but I've honestly finally realized how precious this time is that I have. It took losing my closest friend to understand how much I've been afforded in this life of mine. Why do I spend time bitching and moaning about this and that? Why don't I take moments every day to just smell the air, feel the ever present NW Weather on my face? Why not just drive somewhere new, accidentally misses a turn and just go for awhile. Roll the windows down in the cold and just be thankful I'm here?

I've had a year to think about a lot of things and my words of wisdom are as follows:
- If you think it might hurt, do it. There is no reward sweeter than the one thing you risked everything for.
- There is nothing more important than your family and friends. Do your best to repay their support by being better to everyone else in your life.
- There is no shame in asking for help, there is always someone ready to listen. I've always got an ear if you need it. It's cheaper than what I pay my therapist.
- Don't be afraid to cry, it just feels better to let it out. Even I do it
- Let music into your heart and lead your soul, be open to anything, you may find beauty in the strangest of melodies.
- Love bigger than you ever have
- Never ever give in to the darkness
One of the many things I learned from Pat is one of the simplest thoughts that we all ignore far too often, "be sure to try something new every day. You never know when your last day will come." I pray that I have plenty of days to come, I still have a lot of things to do. Make sure you don't waste this time either, go do something. Go snow shoeing, skydiving, bungee jumping. Do something this weekend that you said you'd never do, that you were afraid to try. Remember, pain is temporary, glory is forever. I don't want to die wondering what if, so I'm going to do my damndest not to.

"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus

Posted by Ryan Scott at 1:20 PM

Internet Tough Guys

I miss my daily train ride into the city. Weird for me to think I’d miss having a vehicle at any point to just grab my shit and go at a moments notice. Maybe what it is I miss, is the 35 minutes of sitting down without having to be in control of the destination, where I had a few minutes here and there to write down my thoughts, read the news before getting into the office, or just shut my eyes for an extra precious moments in the morning, or the evening.

I think I could have skipped reading most of the news this morning, or more so, the comments that people leave on news stories. The internet has been an amazing tool for sharing information, and allowing people to have the latest news inside of seconds of it happening. Unfortunately, it’s also allowed for thousands of people at a moments notice, to unleash commentary or opinion, regardless of it’s content. I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. I cannot believe how many racists exist still in this modern age we live in. I am astonished by the narrow minded, intolerant, and uneducated responses I read. So much so, that I get physically sick thinking that these same people could be the guy sitting in the corner of the 17th floor outside of my office, or the director of the daycare my son spends each and every weekday at, or even you. I’m smart enough to know the character of my friends well enough that I would not suspect any of you to be these same arrogant hate monger internet tough guys spewing nonsense across every news story surrounding our President or the economy. It’s appalling though, and it scares me to know that this is really the “voice” of our country on display for the entire world to read. It also frightens me to think that my son is going to grow up in a world like this, it’s crazy. I never thought it would get worse than it was in the 40’s and 50’s, and somehow, it’s seems that every day, another racist is spewing hate on the news stories within the world of the AP and Yahoo. I am saddened to be sure. We all should be. I’m not quite sure what else to do about this, I get caught up in commenting on these comments, a written argument, that only fuels further hate, with back and forth comments, lots of thumbs down, etc. Arggg,, it’s so frustrating… I think I’ll stop reading the comments section for now…

New music on the iPhone (4):
- Rebelution ‘Bright Side of Life’ Awesome, awesome awesome! A heavy mix of roots reggae meets Sublime with the poetic lyrics of a soul man. I’m digging this album, it’s perfect summer boat music to chill to
- 3Oh!3 ‘Streets of Gold’ I’m not normally into this kind of “poppy club house rock” thing but once in awhile, I guess it’s ok… Don’t shoot the messenger, you’ll either laugh at the witty lines or puke all over it’s nonsense.
- Marco Polo ‘The Stupendous Adventures of Marco Polo’ Hip Hop has been missing ODB and raw Wu Tang for sometime. Seems like most “Hip Hop” albums these days sound a lot like Kanye West running out of ideas for beats, over produced and not original. This Marco Polo album is definitely not that. It’s got a lot of raw old school feeling and some new school progressive beats. You’ll either love it or hate it, it’s not for everyone. I just happen to be into it.

I’m heading to Orange County for the weekend, which is sure to be over too fast, but the optimist in me is going to rock out like I’m 20 again and enjoy every last freekin second of the trip. No fun sponges this weekend, pura vida and livin’ fast… Stoked to see those of you in the OC and won’t think twice about making a fool out of myself, we only live once.

Stay blessed