37 Weeks

That's right, we hit 37 weeks today! That means we're full term, although the due date is still 21 days away. Should we go into labor though, they are not going to stop it. I'm about to become a dad! Holy Crap…

21 days, yes I am counting down! Who wouldn't be at this stage, hell, I've been counting down since month 1. I think it really started to sink in for us when I told Jamie one night, "Guess what? We have less than 100 days to go, we're finally in double digits!" That was a crazy feeling that has continued day in and day out, gaining acceleration as each hiccup and belly kick occurs from within the belly oven my best friend has been carrying for the last 35 weeks. What a unbelievable time this is. There are so many unknowns, a multitude of questions without answers, volumes of information at our finger tips and many more firsts for us.

We've always acknowledged our firsts; First Kiss, first day trip, first over night trip, first time in a car together, first date. I can remember vividly each one of those firsts and I love to remind her of that first movie we watched together or the first time we laid on the couch by the fire with a bottle of merlot and as much as those firsts will always hold a place in my heart, I'm starting to wonder if the new list of firsts will overcome the existing one? The first scream from our son, the first time in a car seat, the first feeding, that first smile or first step. Are the firsts that we hold so close in our hearts going to succumb to his firsts? I'm scared to death to become that parent that initially still hangs out with the single non-parent friends and only talks about the kid and then slowly but surely gets weaned out of that circle of friends and brought into a new circle of friends that all have children and all they talk about is their kids. Comparing the number of steps their kids took or whose kid can take more consecutive steps without crashing to ground in tears. I have a sincere fear of becoming that dad, not that I don't want to have conversations and gloat about being a father, more that I will further isolate myself from my long time friends who do not understand parenthood or don't want to be constantly reminded of what their lives could eventually look like.

Personally, I love my life, what's not to be loved? A wonderful woman and best friend whom I can share everything with, who allows me to be myself in all of my ups and downs. She knows I fart and poop, knows that I have late night cravings for shit food that would put a normal man in a coma, knows that I have ghosts that torment me and my sleep and all the while openly talks me back to calm. She is the perfect ying to my yang, and for that I am in love. I could spend days simply writing out all of the reasons that I love this woman, but I'll save that for another chapter entitled, "Try not to get sick from all this lovey dovey stuff".

We also have an amazing house that I am proud to call our home. We've put a lot of us into this place that started as a typical brand new suburban sprawl home in the middle of nowhere. You know those neighborhoods that seem to pop up where there used to be a field of weeds and nothing more, where every 5th house looks the same. Everyone has the same landscaper, local milk delivery and matching garbage cans that come out like clock work on Tuesdays. Everyone is a part of the home owners association and takes pruning and yard work far too seriously. You know that neighborhood, you probably live in one or drive by one on a daily basis and wonder what it's like to live there, it's cute and fun. Did I just say cute? Must be the new daddy coming out a bit prematurely. I've learned all sorts of new skills in this new home, the kind of skills that women find quite necessary in husband material. Like using a mitre saw to put up wainscoting, new base boards and a chair rail in the dinning room, hanging mirrors, painting, changing lighting and installing a back yard. Who knew back yards were so delicate from the beginning and so much work to prepare for? I had no idea what I was getting myself and my friend into. Needless to say, it's all done and looks quite nice! Those tasks are things I guess I never quite thought of as common sense type things or husbandly duties, but hell, I know how to do them now and it's a lot of fun making things our own.

As we approach this date in time for another "first", I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the babies that came into our lives before our son. Our dogs, Bean and Guinness, have been providing us lots of laughs, days at the dog park, and neighborhood walks, as well as plenty tears and frustrations from those "bad dog" moments that are quickly dismissed with sideways runs and plenty of licks. Our dogs have been our babies for sometime now. I remember the night Jamie brought Bean home. She fit in my left hand, the size of a coke can, weighing in at a gigantic pound. She couldn't have possibly been any smaller at 8 weeks old, resembling a hairless rodent that you couldn't help feeling sorry for and just wanting to keep close to your body in a very light cuddle. She's now a whopping three and a half pounds at 2 and half years old. What else would you expect from a teacup Chihuahua? And then there's the "Buddha" or "bubba" as we like to refer to Guinness. He's a tank at 14 pounds, part Chihuahua and part Terrier, maybe even part human. He has more character than any other dog I've even been around, understanding some key words like outside, treats and goodbye. Both of our dogs are pretty smart actually. At night or any time we leave the house without them, we ask them to "hustle up" and they run straight to their crate. They know the deal. Bean even understands the Spanish language, from anywhere in the house the simple mention of "queso" gets her ears to perk up and she runs straight to the refrigerator. They both LOVE cheese, and not just because it's food. If you say to her, "Bean, do you want some cheese (or queso)" she will do a 360 and head to the kitchen. She'll sit there and stare at you until you get it out of the lunchmeat drawer. I once made the mistake of asking her if she wanted some and found that we didn't have any; she peed on the kitchen floor directly in front of the fridge when I went back to the living room and turned on the TV. Oops! We have loved our dogs as children for over 2 years now and the idea that we are brining another child into our home to compete for our attention is not going to bode well for them. That's something else I'm very nervous about. Where's the dog whisperer when I need him?