Thursday, December 15, 2005

Blind, Stoned or just plain Stupid?

Last Saturday I spent the day in the "Big Apple" walking around Manhattan, checking out the situation on the East Coast. I have to say, the city is much larger than I had imagined, TV and the movies do it no justice when it comes to relative size. None the less, I finally made it into the city. In all my trips out to the Garden State of NJ, I had never actually ventured into the city. After a few hours of holiday hustle and bustle, taxi's wanting to run my ass over in cross walks, wind burn and sore legs, I realized why hadn't. I am a West Coast, laid back, surfing and drinking kind of guy. Not as high strung as most of the locals I encountered. That's a whole other story in and of itself.

Anyway, as we planned out where we wanted to go and see, Ground Zero came up on our list. Having seen just about every last TV special around 9/11, including documentaries, endless news coverage, etc. I wasn't sure I actually needed to go to the site to "see for myself". I wasn't exactly sure I had any right to do so. Being with my friend who used to take the train in every morning to Tower 1, we went. He wanted to share his history with me, his recounting of that day, his pain. Normally I would say "tough shit, that's what therapy is for" but this time was different, closer to home. So we went.

As you cross the skywalk looking over the huge hole in the ground, it's almost unbelievable to think of what happened there. I felt sick to my stomach as he recounted and pointed out the train tracks that used to drop him off at his building. I was ill. We continued walking, me listening to his stories, feeling worse every step. We came out to the front memorial to the site, to the people who lost their lives. Thousands of people still to this day crying, memorializing and protesting. PROTESTING?? Even the 1st amendment doesn't stop certain clowns in this country from saying what they want to say. Here I stood, ready to vomit with people all around me and two men holding a sign which read, "9/11 was an Inside Job" and "Look at what we did to ourselves". I was shocked, how could anyone stand there and be more selfish to promote such bull shit. Even I don't like George W. but come on now! My sick stomach turned upside down, now I was just mad.

It's like President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran saying that the holocaust never happened! Are these folks completely out of their minds or just so fucked up that we have to just let them be? I'm not a proponent of the death penalty, nor do I think we should go kill anyone. However, there are times when I have to ask, what the hell is wrong with people? Why would anyone find any amusement out of preying on the misery of others? Don't get me wrong now, I'm all for fucking with people as often as possible, but when we are talking about the death of thousands like in NY or Millions in the case of the holocaust.

My dad always told me that as humans, we're not perfect and people will always let you down. I'm very disappointed in people, especially in New Yorkers that can stand there with their agendas and add salt into the wounds of those still grieving. I'm all for freedom of speech, it allows me the freedom to write my thoughts down here, speak freely to you all. This was one of the times where I wished that along with the 1st amendment, I had the right to kick the crap out of these guys. I was very surprised there wasn't an all out riot amongst the mourners and the clowns. I continued my walk and no longer felt sick by the empty crater where the towers used to stand, but sick that people prey on the emotions of those in grief.

With that said, what would you have done? Would you have said something to these guys? Thrown a punch? Let me know, I'm interested in hearing your side.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Who Get's What in the End??

So, it's the end of the year and I'm faced with all sorts of wonderful paperwork and decisions. Open enrollment for insurance forces me to pick a plan, life insurance benefits and beneficiary(ies), W2 deductions/exemptions, etc... Such a pain in the ass... Looking through all of this has forced me to think about some cryptic shit though, like if I died, Who is going to make sure I get burried in the right place, who is gonna hide/take my porn collection so my parents don't get embarassed, who'll take the rest of my DVD's, who's gonna clean up my computer of anything embarassing, make sure everyone I'd want to know, knows? Why do I ever think about this stuff? Does anyone want that responsibility? Do I really care about any of this if I'm dead?

This is pretty lame I know, especially at our ages, but if not now, when is the right time to think and talk about this stuff? I'm not getting any younger... So, should I be thinking about a "living will" or setting up a trust? I feel really weird writing this stuff right now, but I can't help but think about it. It's not that I think I won't be here tomorrow or anything, but knowing that we have no control over when our time is up, I can't think that I have not prepared for death and know it would be a huge burden on so many of my friends and family. And, parents don't need to find porn DVD's, right? What if they ahd the same one's? GROSS!!!! (That's my feeble attempt to be funny in this very dark discussion)

So, from the peanut gallery, thoughts? What have any of you done if anything, or are you in the same boat I'm in and done nothing? I'm interested in hearing if anyone else has even contemplated this, I know we're all pretty young still but seriously, are any of us going to live forever?

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Sit the Hell Down Already

Quite frequently I find myself flying, mainly for business purposes, and I've noticed an epidemic that is becoming worse and worse each time I travel.

The media and airlines have somehow convinced Americans that no one is flying anymore as well... That's bullshit as I stand in line to get through security, only to consistently get pulled aside, strip searched, cavity checked and then sent on my way limping toward my gate. The walk to the gate is always a little bit longer when you've recently had someone's fingers up your ass looking for drugs or bombs or whatever else they may think you've shoved up there to travel with... But I digress

My issues really come from the boarding and unboarding experience. You get to your gate, have a seat cause your ass hurts still from the previous moments rectal exam, and you wait. You wait and wait and wait... Announcement comes over the Public Address system, barely audible, and a mass migration of folks sitting and waiting all jump off their fat asses and start pushing toward the gate. I see this everytime I fly. The cattle drive to board the plane almost makes me feel like I have to get up with them and stand there waiting instead of resting my very sore rear end. So I get off my tired sore ass and stand there and wait, constantly being pushed forward by the other heffers behind me. On especially hot days, that usually happen in Newark and Phoenix airports, when the AC isn't working, many of these larger folks actually smell like cattle, quite surreal... But I digress. So this drive begins moving forward, people acting like if they don't hurry up they may not make their flights. Yeah Right, you're pushing me forward so we can go from standing in one line to standing in another one on the jetway.That is quite simply because the assholes ahead of us cannot seem to find where on their ticket the seat assignment is and the corresponding number on each row will eventually match up! Seriously folks, figure it out and sit your ass down! Mine still hurts and I would appreciate you getting the fuck out of my way so that I can sit and watch you fuckers roam around aimlessly trying to squeeze a full size suitcase into a full overhead baggage area!

That's my next big gripe; people not checking their luggage and thinking it'll fit overhead. It goes hand in hand with how long it takes to board and unboard the plane. Listen folks, this isn't the era where luggage disappears all of the time, unless you've packed a lot of drugs, guns or bombs... Your shitty knock-off Louis Vuitton luggage will be waiting for your pretentious ass in the baggage claim area, you don't need to carry it on so everyone can know you're a phoney. We get that by your matching handbag, wallet and cell phone case you're carrying on as well. Seriously, check that shit, no one is gonna steal it, everyone else can afford it as well, check it! Now, if your seat number is in the front of the plane, put your shit in the overhead compartment near or directly above your head. Don't put it way in the back. No one is going to let you walk back there once the plane is done taxiing back to the gate, we all want off the plane and are not allowing you to hold us up. Make it easy, check anything that doesn't fit under your seat so we don't have to spend an extra hour waiting for you!!!

Now, when the plane gets back to the gate and it's time to get off, GET THE FUCK OFF. You've already had at least 4 or 5 hours to stare at the seat in front of you and if you don't already know the person sitting next to you, now is not the time to introduce yourself. Way to waste all of that time buried in the Wall Street Journal jackass, we still aren't impressed that you can read and guaranteed my Playboy read was much more interesting anyway. Why didn't you say hello earlier? I really do not care to know you now, nor did I before or during the flight, but now just is not the time. Just get off the plane, I have to pee now.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Overkill, Overboard and Underwhelmed

So, here I am, sitting in my office attempting to waste another 20 minutes writing down my thoughts as it seems no one else in my company is working anyway today. Apparently there was snow, I barely see it now, but it scared enough people into not coming in today, whatever. I’m just being irritated that I didn’t have the foresight to see how easily I could have claimed being fearful of driving on wet roads and staying home. Either way, I would still be working from there so all that changes is that I had to shower before noon and get dressed to come to work. Enough of that thought.

We got some snow, not real snow that stays around for days on end, but enough to look pretty for a few brief moments. I swear though, out here in Washington you’d think people are used to seeing precipitation fall from the sky, but no! Even when it rains here, folks feel the need to slow down and lose their minds on the road. Are there that many California transplants that have never seen snow or rain? I’m a transplant, but even I know that rain is not going to damage the clear coat over my paint if I drive the speed limit! There should be a test for competency and common sense when they allow anyone to drive a car, not just the legal test, but an actual common sense test that can determine if you’re smart enough to operate as a human being. And just think, they allow people to drive, drink coffee and talk on a cell phone all at the same time; I swear that should be illegal! If you are so afraid of the snow, then wait until its safe. Do you even know if it’s not safe to drive? If you don’t you have two choices:
1) Watch everyone else out driving, if they start slipping and sliding like bumper cars, it’s slick, stay home.
2) Go out and drive so other people can watch you and decide if it’s slick as you ram bumpers with other morons on the road, your choice.

Anyway, back to the topic. In my line of work, I’m responsible for keeping things running regardless of what Mother Nature, the phone company or a random act of stupidity does to slow us down. When there’s a chance that snow or hurricanes or a tornado will impact one of my centers, we plan and we plan and we plan to keep the ship a float so that it is seamless to the customer (Seamless, a great corporate word). We hold conference calls in order to plan and we talk about shit a lot. We have more documents about what to do “if”, then I care to ever explain. It’s quite fascinating at times. So, we got some snow here, nothing serious, although very pretty personally. I love how quiet the word becomes when it snows. Sometimes, even with all of the planning, it does require that you access the situation at hand, that may be mid-afternoon or the middle of the night. When those of us at my level in this company took our jobs, we knew once that our roles would have no normal operating hours and that as leaders; it would require a conversation at 2:30 or 3:30 in the morning, that’s just the way it is. Keep on trucking, eh!

This morning we had one of those times where it required national presence to discuss the underwhelming Washington weather issue and make adjustments as needed. 3:30 am comes and it’s time to make some determinations as to whether the weather will allow us to be open here or delay the opening or be “Business as Usual”. That’s just part of our jobs. I had a director from New Jersey ask me if I thought that pulling everyone together in the middle of the night was overkill. I nearly fell out of my bed laughing (YES, I do take conference calls from bed in my undies at that hour). I couldn’t believe I was being asked this question by someone on the East Coast, it was 6:30 am her time and knowing this lady, I know that all of her upkeep gets her started on her day much earlier than that, in order to be present physically by 9 or 10 EST. Again, common sense is missing in the business world as well these days. How can it be overkill to plan ahead in order to keep the business running smoothly? I was ashamed to have even heard her ask the question, although my lack of respect for her is no longer able to reach any lower. It was just sad

So there it is, my rumblings for today. I’m sure I’ll find something else to grumble about later.