It only gets hotter...

Not entirely sure where to start this morning, except to say that life in Washington summers with no air conditioning sucks. The high at my apartment yesterday topped out near 92 and humid. There was nearly no reason to shower other than to prevent being the stinky guy in public. Friday wasn't nearly as hot and Saturday was closer at 88 but it still wasn't as nasty as Sunday. And although I grew up in 100+ Idaho Summer days, there wasn't the humidity and everyone had A/C. Not so much the case here, as there are only 10-15 days a year in a "hot" summer that you'd even use it. Yesterday, and the rest of this week from what the forecast looks like, are those days. That means lots of time in the water, which isn't a bad thing, except for the first sunburn of the year setting in last night after spending much of the day drinking beer at my old house on Lake Sammamish with Jake and company.

Oh that house and the stories it could tell. I lived in that house for about three and a half years, when the only thing any of us cared about was getting up to wakeboard, using the lake as our shower, heading to work and returning home to do it all over again. Little did we care that we lived in the 5th shittiest house on the lake or that all of our neighbors were CEO's or former CEO's and executives trying to settle in to some peace and quiet. We were some kind of motley crew that most grew to love, others did what they could to get us evicted. 7 years later, "we" still have that house, Jake being the only original roommate still living there, although as I hit up the kitchen to grub last nights steak, I noticed many of my old dishes, coffee cups and other odds and ends still performing valiantly there, all these years later. There is a piece of me that misses parts of that lifestyle, but I could never go back to being that easy going, laid back bachelor, living in what is now probably the shittiest house on Lake Sammamish since all of the others have been torn down for million dollar homes. I'll hang out there though, as much as I possibly can while I still can, I love it there.

Driving back to the dirrty south last night with Social Distortion blasting anthem after punk rock anthem from the stereo, I was on auto pilot, excited to tell the days stories and laugh about the days of old. I almost got into the driveway when it hit me that I had taken a wrong turn, I went home. I sat in my truck for a few minutes, around the corner from my home trying to figure out what I had just done without even really thinking about where I was going. I guess I wasn't thinking, just doing what I've always done and my trusty F150 was leading the way. Deep breath, truck in gear, I followed the circle around the neighborhood and headed to my apartment where I had left all the windows open and arived to what still felt like a sauna. Needless to say, this brain was fired up and working overtime to prevent me from sleeping, coupled with the insulation in the walls holding onto every last degree of the days heat to keep me super warm, it was a late night.

**Update**Just found out my little man just had his first successful potty on the potty! Yes, I'm a proud papa, and it may sound a little weird, but I wish I had been there for it. I actually had that proud tearful moment sitting here, hearing about it, but quickly realized that the short tear was more about not being present for this success. I really don't think I can handle missing any more of his firsts so I need to game plan his firsts to only occur while we're together, he and I. I joke of course, and am very happy his mommy got to be there for this and enjoy that success, just figured I'd be a part of those times too. Yeah, it sucks to miss anything with them and it is bittersweet.

Forecast is showing 98 in Seattle today which means it'll be even warmer in the south end when I get off work. Good thing for a playlist consisting of Social D, Flogging Molly, Dropkick Murphy's, The Transplants and the Violent Femmes, probably help me keep a heavy pace across the city this afternoon. You can never go wrong with punk music.

Busy week ahead, both personally and professionally, and although there's room for some fun, I'm not sure entirely how I feel about the current state of my un-union and trying to work through it. Tomorrow night, I'll have both dogs and Jackson, and a calendar full of little things. That all used to seem so easy and I'm trying to look at it from that angle, but no matter how I try to spin it for myself, it scares me. It just feels overwhelming and it shouldn't, I know it shouldn't. So why does it? Tasks and responsibilities I accepted and accomplished a thousand times before now seem like they need more effort, more energy, just more. I'll get over it of course, but the underlying symptoms tell me that I never really did any of it alone. There was always someone else getting me through it, another set of hands to back me up and I think that's the difference today, I have only these two hands. And with my own two hands, I have to do some heavy lifting and continue doing what I do. It's just not feeling any easier as I do this, but I'm told (and have said previously) it will. It has to, I have faith that it will.

Planning a few trips in August, Boise and LA on the radar. Not sure what order they are happening yet, but can say that one trip will be as dad and one will be as the inner-fifteen year old on holiday. I'm sure those of you that know the deal will figure out which version is going where!

Stay blessed-