Mondays, ugg. That means the week is here whether I want it to be or not. I really don't want it to be here already, can I have my Sunday back, please? yes, I'm whining a little. This week is going to be hectic, (UAT kicking off again on my project) too many things to accomplish or just get done, and well, I don't want to. I'm ready for the weekend already and there's 5 days of business first. Nonsense I tell you!
Got to the train station this morning and went into a slow panic as I realized I didn't have a set of headphones. Most days, there's at least 3 pair, today there are none. I know exactly where they are in my place too. The main iPhone headphones are sitting on my desk since I needed to sit on a few conference calls Friday, my big dogs are sitting in the kitchen, where they have been since I moved into the place and the 3rd pair are where they always are in case I forget one of the other two pair; in my other laptop bag that I haven't been using since I replaced it with this Ogio pack... Crap, no music on the iPhone to discuss today. Guess you'll have to come up with your own download of the day, but if you were waiting on my suggestion, check out any Van Morrison, Counting Crows or Michael Franti and Spearhead. That sounds about like what I would be listening to on this cold, wet, dark July Monday morning. Plus, I'm getting revved up for the Counting Crows show at Marymoore Thursday night. You haven't lived in the purity of music until you see CC live, especially this tour with Michael Franti and Augustana. From what I've heard, there is no true spot for the bands, they are winging it at every show, doing songs all together, songs just as a band and intermingling through 3 separate dare I say, "jam sessions"! Should be an amazing night, much like every CC show. I'm a nerd, I follow Adam Duritz on Twitter (http://twitter.com/countingcrows) and his updates are funny as all get down.
I haven't written in a few days now, mostly cause I've been lazy, but mainly because I was getting sick of talking. Talking about my depression, about my current situation and reading back over it was making me feel like all I do here is whine and commiserate, and that is not who I am. I've spent so much time thinking about being miserable and lost and alone, that I've not done justice to the awesomeness that is me. Ok, that's a stretch, I'm only kind of awesome, most of the time. Seriously though, I've been selling it short, mailing it in. We all (most of us, usually not so publicly) do that when we're hurt and feeling bad, and that's ok from time to time I guess, but it cannot become who we are and what we are all about. It's not good for anyone. I do believe that bad energy begets bad energy, meaning if you walk around every day feeling sorry for yourself and you carry this angst and hurt with you, you'll only attract more of that. Unless you live on the corner of nowhere and BFE, like I do, than you just hang out by yourself wishing you were somewhere else or someone else. I can say, that putting it all out there in this forum has led me to understand some things that I probably wouldn't have had I not. I'm surprised by how many other people are going through these same things, these disappointments, these life style changes, these same losses. It's sickly comforting to know I'm not the only one, but it really sucks that so many people are feeling the way I am. I will say this now, I do not want to be the flag waiver for the cause, the poster boy for this pain.
Phone call, please hold...
So the train was really empty this morning so not having headphones wasn't a total blow to my senses. No chatter boxes to annoy me and I think in the 10 months I've been commuting into the city every day, this is the first time I've walked through downtown listening to the city. Lots of sounds as I walked through construction at 2nd Ave and Seneca, forced into a single walking path surrounded my multiple smokers. Why is it that smokers look so sad in the morning? Except for this one girl I pass every morning at the bottom of the stairs heading down to the water on Alaskan Way, she's always smiling as she texts away, oblivious to the world around her, reminds me of my old roommate Chanda, always smiling. I'm going to smile more this week, even if I have to fake it.
Stay Blessed-
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