Disconnected Thinking

I’ve spent a lot of time, or what a lot feels like, over the past few days working on my book. Mainly talking through stories and situations of the past 5 years, focused mainly on the last two+ since the beginning of the life of my son. How vivid the details are of the moments leading up to his arrival, and how different the world has been since he’s been in it. Different in the way that it pains me to think what it would be like without him in it and how clearly changed my life is because of him, in it. I’m a better man because of his life in mine, and I don’t make the choices I had made in my past. I am aware however, that I make some of the same internal mistakes, wish for the same wishes that have never come true, and feel myself feel things I didn’t ever want to feel again, and more so, said I wouldn’t. I’m changing, changed, different than I was at 17, 24, 27, and 32.

I’ve also spent the good part of this week battling a cold, brought straight into my house from disease infested daycare and delivered from my poor two year old who has been miserable since Sunday. His cough, and lack of covering his mouth, has been constant along with a runny nose, fever and itchy eyes. Thanks to his neglect in covering his cough, this same flu has entered my body, rendering me fairly useless to write in this blog. My thoughts have been scattered and without point or direction. So, I’ve started and stopped, started and stopped and tonight, finally trying to make a way through some words. I doubt there’s any wisdom to this post, or even insight. It might be a total waste of your time to sit there and read it, but then so is the countless hours spent on Facebook or Youtube . Yes, guilty as charged, I do it too, living vicariously through other peoples status updates, crazy funny video’s and wishing to participate in the festivities that show up in other peoples “mobile uploads” folders. Sometimes not though, after the last few nights photo’s that have popped up, I’m convinced it’s sometimes safer just to stay home, if nothing more than than for my own posterity. Some of you guys are having way too much fun.

Over the weekend, while doing my rounds at my favorite boutique store, Target (pronounced in a French accent Tar’zay) I came across the newest book from one of my favorite authors, Mitch Albom, titled ‘Have a Little Faith’ . If you haven’t read any of his books, I implore you to go pick any of them up. Each and every one of them is literally food for your soul in one form or another. Some will make you cry from the very first page (‘One More Day’) and others will hold you through every page making you thankful for understanding the written word (‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ and ‘The Five People you Meet in Heaven’). None of them have ever disappointed me and each has led me to other insights into my own interpersonal questions.

Two road trips forthcoming, business in Dallas, personal in Boise. I’ve never been a huge fan of Texas outside of Austin, so there’s no super stoked looking forward to my visit feelings going on. I do, however, have an old friend out there that can hopefully meet up for dinner and catch up from nearly 18 years of life’s various roads. In Boise, I get to meet my new niece who was born Wednesday night. She finally got a name this morning, and thanks to the power of text messaging, my sister, still hospitalized, shot me a message with the name ‘Lily Carter Gross’. My three year old niece, Lily’s sister, Chloe, told her mommy that she thinks the name is stupid. Typical three year old response, I’m so interested in knowing what suggestions she made for her baby sisters name. I can’t wait to meet her and welcome her into our ever growing family.

Chloe and Lily

My chest hurts and my fever is still present, and outside of that, I can’t think of much else to say right now. Clearly my thoughts are all over the board and totally incomplete. Much like my status updates that always end with a dot dot dot, there’s always more to the story and yet, I keep it short and sweet. Like today’s posting, maybe there will be more soon…

Stay blessed-